A moment to pause!

After two weeks of working on my prelims I have a small moment to pause. And in this moment I find myself both nervous and frustrated, yet at peace.

1. Nervous: My adviser offered to look over one of my papers. So I think taking advantage of a little feedback would be great, HOWEVER.... I am flooded with fear that she will hate it. I don't know how I will find the time to make MASSIVE revisions. However I know I will find the time if they are needed. Heck maybe she will like it. I question.. is it the job of the adviser to put fear of God into the hearts of their students?

2. Frustrated: WHY do people who say they are your friends make stupid comments. I try so hard to be supportive and understanding yet a few of my "friends" seem to think it is perfectly fine to pick out all of my flaws and raise questions about things that have NOTHING to do with them. Mind your own business! I just don't get it. I watch what I say SOOOOOO MUCH. But I am wondering if maybe these people need a few checks to their reality.

I am also frustrated living in the land of boxes. I HATE MOVING! I cannot wait to get into the new house but trying to write papers when all of your stuff is in boxes = Frustrating HELL!

3. Strangely at peace: With all said... I know that in three days I will be moving into the new house, my FIRST HOUSE! (ok so we are renting it but still it's a fricken HOUSE) In three days my prelims will also be complete and it will be on Spring Break. Not that I will go anywhere but the idea of not having to work on level ten and teach.... glorious. I am also at peace that while the prelim. experience SUCKS!!!! I am ready. I have found a confidence that I didn't know I really had. I have learned that I do know this stuff and I can do it. The process really does work. It is painful for a reason. But I feel like I am walking away with a new sense of self.

Well... this is where I am. More to come once I am sitting in the new house!

Thanks for listening.