Still the imposter

When I was in grad school I remember fighting the fear that I wasn't smart enough to be in grad school. Every paper I turned in I would be filled with trepidation. Worrying that this would be the paper that would seal my fate. I would get called into my professor's office, and there I would be told I was found out, not good enough, and should find a new career.

Needless to say it never happened.

When I graduated I thought that would be the end of the negative little voice. I was certain that with the new job it would be ok. Nope.

Today sitting in our department meeting the voice started up again. I am not sure why I have this fear, but I am told it's normal. Not that this helps, much. 

So I sit here, alone. My friends, family, cats, everything I know and love are hours and hours away. I am excited about this opportunity. BUT SCARED out of my mind. I can I REALLY do this? Will my students connect with me like past ones have? Can I get into a rhythm that will help be do what I need to do? Only time will tell.

For now I must stay confident. Or at least keep telling myself I am here for a reason. Everyone tells me it will work out. I only wish I was able to see what they all seem to see.