T.H.R.I.V.E.

The first week is behind me now. Looking back... all I can do is smile. I AM where I was meant to be. I have found a place that I didn't even knew could be real. While I know no university (or any place of work) will be perfect, this might be as close as I can come. At the very least it is perfect for now.

My first week on the last day of orientation I was reminded that we all need to THRIVE as professors.

T - Take advantage of the available resources.  They have soooo many programs and certificates it's crazy. So I am. I am taking classes for two certificates to help continue develop my teaching. One is for online teaching and the other is for the writing intensive class I have to teach. They also have a program that will edit and guide scholarship before we send it out for journal review. How cool is that!

H - Have Fun. Seems like an easy thing to do, right?  Well for me sometimes I need a reminder. I am type A, a workaholic, and a perfectionist. All ingredients for trouble and stress.  Luckily have a great husband who often keeps things fun, and will pull me away for fun when I forget.

R - Remember they picked you. YES!! Yes they did. And not only did they pick me, they put in a specific request for an additional line JUST FOR ME. I need to remember this anytime my imposter starts talking loudly. This week with the students helped a TON. They are already connecting as my Carroll students did. Kinda makes me wonder if they weren't right after all. Maybe I really do set the tone.

I - Invite Feedback; ask for advice. I have decided that I need to stop fearing feedback. The only way I can get better is by asking for help and advice. I am so quick to ask for help in some areas of my life, why not apply the understanding to my teaching and writing. So I have signed up for the peer and student review process for my class (another cool program offered). And I will seek support from my colleges.

V - Vision. Where are you going? After meeting with the Dean for my Professional Development Plan it was even clearer that I am indeed in a wonderful place. She not only seemed excited for what I offer, but was also able to see the potential in me for leadership roles.  I have always thought I could be a great dean someday, but to hear one say they see it in you... really helps. The best part of the conversation however was the advice to always think about HOW I want to grow. What is my vision for my career? How can I PACE myself to grow in the right ways. It's so easy to get ahead of yourself, so focusing on the vision will be helpful. I also have to keep in mind that really I am only at the beginning of my journey. I still have 30 some years before I would retire. I have LOTS of time to get to my benchmarks. I just can't give up.

E - Excuse Yourself (Say No, Shut the door). Sometimes it is smarter to say NO for the moment, than to take on more than you can do. I suffer from wanting to do everything, but knowing that is the first step. I must remember my vision and ask if the activity or what not will help me reach the goal. If not... Might have to pass. I also need to make sure I keep writing. I will need to get into a habit of writing everyday. I know it will take planning, and determination, but I know I can do it.

I have taken so much away from the various meetings I went to last week. I am thrilled to be starting on this journey, and I think this might be a long season. I certainly hope that is the case. SO far signs seem to point to yes. I will go for it. I will have faith.  If I am meant to be somewhere else... ok. We will take it a day at a time. I will only control what I can, and let go of what I can't.

Could it be.... I have finally grown up?

Still the imposter

When I was in grad school I remember fighting the fear that I wasn't smart enough to be in grad school. Every paper I turned in I would be filled with trepidation. Worrying that this would be the paper that would seal my fate. I would get called into my professor's office, and there I would be told I was found out, not good enough, and should find a new career.

Needless to say it never happened.

When I graduated I thought that would be the end of the negative little voice. I was certain that with the new job it would be ok. Nope.

Today sitting in our department meeting the voice started up again. I am not sure why I have this fear, but I am told it's normal. Not that this helps, much. 

So I sit here, alone. My friends, family, cats, everything I know and love are hours and hours away. I am excited about this opportunity. BUT SCARED out of my mind. I can I REALLY do this? Will my students connect with me like past ones have? Can I get into a rhythm that will help be do what I need to do? Only time will tell.

For now I must stay confident. Or at least keep telling myself I am here for a reason. Everyone tells me it will work out. I only wish I was able to see what they all seem to see.

The Last MKE Chapter

15 years ago I moved to Milwaukee. I kicked, I screamed, I hated my parents for moving me here. Now... I am sad to go. I have experienced SOOOO much in this great city. I met amazing people, ate great food, and found my passion for teaching at the college level.

I read somewhere that only 20% of academics with a PhD get a job in a academia.  That seems low, but not that low. I have a number of friends who have chosen to leave and I can't say I blame them at all. Many have had no bites (mostly English and American Studies peeps) those jobs are gone. My friends in Communication have it better, but for us the field is so saturated with nepotism it isn't even funny.

The greatest thing I take away from Milwaukee will be the friendships. Growing up I moved so much that I never had the chance to really make friends. I have people I played with, but once I would move again we never kept in touch. When I move to MKE I didn't even tell my friends. That is something I deeply regret. Lesson learned I am taking every opportunity to enjoy the time remaining. I know I am not saying goodbye forever. These friends are people I have had by my side for a number of years, and I will always stand by theirs.  I am so grateful to have found so many wonderful people who have forever had an impact on my life.

All that said... I am really excited to be moving. I really like Mankato so far. It's small, yet has all the stores and things we like. Everyone is super friendly, they call it Minn. nice for a reason. Plus I am thrilled to start the new job. This is all such a strange combination of excitement and sadness. I will deeply miss this city and the people in it. Thank goodness for technology. I know we will stay in touch. Plus it's only a five hour drive to come back and visit. 

One chapter comes to an end and another one begins... here is to a good chapter.