You know it's bad when...

SO here I sit. I have a list of stuff to do but I simply cannot function. Where to start! I have finished most of the little piddly things but I have NO FREAKING clue where to go from here. AHHHHHH!!!! So I am hoping that maybe by blogging I will feel better. So far it is not helping. I just sit here thinking maybe if you just starting working on something you would get over this hump but no I am writing to you, that is provided anyone actually reads this. I doubt it!

In one month I take my qualifying exams and while everyone tells me I will be fine and that I don't need to stress it just doesn't seem that easy. I know I can write my papers and I know what I need to do before hand to get ready (including three papers for a conference, lesson plans, teaching, meetings with committee members, ect) but I feel like every-time I turn around I am hit with some other question or request. Yes I DO know how to say no. And I am getting slightly better at saying no. However when one of your course directors tells you that you have to go observe another TA and talk to them about their teaching (in the next three weeks) I can't really tell him NO. Well I could and that might solve some of the other pressures I have on me currently. However then I would have wasted a TON of time, money, and sex that I could have been having with my poor neglected husband. (Sorry that was maybe more then you wanted to know.)

UGH! This too shall pass and I will be grateful for the experience, Blah blah blah! I know in my heart I can do this, and I will do this but looking one month out it seems like a REALLY freaking big mountain.

Time for more tea. Since I had to put coffee aside for the moment! ;( Stupid stress!!!!

It's all about the little things

This week I have come to the realization that it is the simple things that make life great. For example:

1. FUN TV! Sunday I spent the entire day watching Big Bang Theory and ever since I have found things that connect and make me giggle. Another new show, well new to me, is the Late Late show with Craig Ferguson. Ironically both of these shows are ones that my mother has been telling me to watch for years. For once (well twice) she was on to something. Shhh don't tell.

2. Sometimes people can surprise you. I had a really good talk with a member of my dissertation committee and for once she was GREAT. To be honest I was not sure how well the talk would go but to my surprise it was really helpful.

3. Friends can make all the difference in the world. I have a few VERY close friends and now that I am a few weeks from turning the big 3--0 I am finally beginning to understand the benefit of not worrying about making everyone happy and just focusing attention on the people who support and care about me. Seems such a simple concept... so why did it take me so long to figure it out. Sigh.

4. Sometimes you just have to stop and do something silly. Yep.. that is all I will say about that.

5. Everyone needs to find a Happy Place. Mine is the clinic I work at. I LOVE the people soo much. Honestly I never thought one place could be filled with so many amazing people but I have found my happy place. I LOVE the work I get to do and the people I get to do it with. The only worry... is that I will have to move and will not be able to work there. But this is to be determined so we will worry about that later.

Overall...things are still stressful but I am in a pretty good place. As long as I keep working a little everyday I think it will be ok.