My friend tells me today that I am a model grad student and that I should not beat myself up for feeling like I don't work hard enough, and this has got me thinking. How does one know if they are working hard. For once I am not being sarcastic. I genuinely don't know if I really work hard. I ALWAYS seem to find things I should do or could have done better. I don't know why I am so hard on myself all the time but again and again I feel like I am not working hard enough. Yet in my program... I am labeled the overachiever. Not only by some of my peers but also some professors. But I am a perfectionist, and sometimes when things don't go the way I hoped I take it personally and think I failed. WHY! Why do I do this?
I do feel good that I am dedicated, and I will not quit. These I think are good qualities but this unending feeling that I could be doing more might not be healthy. Or maybe it is what drives me. Ugh I don't know!
