I have two favorite quotes, if you will, that have stuck by me my entire life. The first was written on the cover of my very first diary which I received when I was six.
It read: Sometimes I need to be alone thinking dreaming on my own. Finding out what makes me me. Following my own special path.
I think if that this morning as I sit and reflect on a fight I had recently. Questions were brought up about how we say things but unconsciously we meant to hurt someone. I admit I do not always think through my statements (a MAJOR flaw of mine). But I can work on that, and I am. But if some thinks that I would subconsciously intend to hurt them, how do I work on that? And how to explain that I didn't even subconsciously do that. I try my best to be a good person, I would do anything for my friends, but this is beyond me. And in many ways hurts more then other judgments I have endured. If you really truly felt that way, why would you want to be friends with that person. I wouldn't.
The other quote is: Don't walk in front of me I may not follow, don't walk in front I may not lead, just walk besides me and be my friend. This was my senior quote in high school but today means more then anything. In a PhD program it is your friends that will help build you up. Will be there for you to cry to when you have a rough day and will laugh at you when you mean to write assess and instead you write asses. Your friends should be by your side. Walking together side by side (like the travelers from the Wizard of Oz) our very own yellow brick road. But right now I think we lost in a forest and I can only hope that soon we will be through the brush and can get back on the right path.
They say a PhD program is a lonely path, and I see that now. So much of our time is sucked away by reading grading and writing. And in many ways our lives become so wrapped up in it that it is hard to break away. But this it is important to do so. SO with this in mind I think I will call my friends outside of the school world and invite them for wine!
